Kris Kobach from Kansas is the Kansas Secretary of State, but as far as we can tell, that’s really just a side gig. Kobach’s real job, or more accurately his crusade, is working to keep out of the United States people who don’t look, talk, or worship like him. That is, when he’s not busy trying to keep from voting people who don’t look, talk, or worship like him. Kris Kobach from Kansas really seems not to like people who don’t look, talk, or worship like he does. Shocking, I know.
Fortunately for the rest of us, Kris Kobach from Kansas has been substantially a failure at his anti-immigration crusade, at least up until now. Why? Well, as will become evident presently, Kobach is convinced that when it comes to people who don’t look, talk, or worship like him, there is no such thing as the Constitution. Happily, up until now, our Article III courts have disagreed. The key words there are, of course, “up until now.” With Donald Trump in the White House, Congress under GOP lockdown, and the Supreme Court almost certainly headed for right-wing fantasyland, it may be just a matter of time before Kobach’s wet dreams become America’s nightmares.
So why should you care about Kris Kobach from Kansas? For starters, read this article. Then consider that Kobach is reputed to be a Trump insider, under consideration for a post in the new Trump administration. Naturally, any White House that has room for Steve Bannon will welcome Kris Kobach from Kansas without so much as a second thought. So really, why should we care?
Because, among other things, Kobach is running around telling reporters that the Trump administration is preparing to create a “Muslim registry.” No, really, we’re not making that up. The Kansas Secretary of State, a purported Trump adviser, is talking about a registry. For people. People of a particular religious faith. A minority religious faith. Rest assured: The Laughing Chimps aren’t laughing at this. That anyone in this country, or at least anyone who doesn’t go by a title like “Grand Dragon” and wear a long robe and pointy hat for an evening of cross burning with his friends, could conceive of such a thing in the 21st century is staggering. But then, this is Kris Kobach from Kansas we’re speaking of here.
The details of this Kobach creation haven’t yet been made public. We wonder if they’ll include such things as being tattooed, or having a large “M” sewn to the outside of one’s clothing. Time will tell. We thought you should be aware of this latest development, one so evil and vile that we wonder if there might be a behind-the-scenes contest between Kobach, Bannon, and others in Trump’s inner circle to claim credit for it.
For those of you who are current or former law students, or who otherwise enjoy a rousing game of constitutional trivia, let’s have a contest: how many different ways can you spot the Kris Kobach from Kansas Muslim Registry violating the First Amendment? Bonus points for the contestant who comes closest to estimating how long it takes the ACLU or some other civil rights litigant to get an injunction barring enforcement of this throwback to Germany, circa 1940. Or as Kris Kobach from Kansas might call that time and place, “the good old days.”
Stay tuned for updates on this. If it looks like the Kris Kobach from Kansas Muslim Registry might actually become a thing, we’ll be launching our “Everyone’s a Muslim” group registration drive! That’s right: our goal will be to get as many people as possible to register – whether you’re actually a Muslim or not. We’ll consider it our duty to do everything we can to assure that this monument to bigotry and intolerance is every bit as worthless as the sick minds that made it happen.
In the meantime, join us in what we fear will become a familiar refrain around these parts:
Fuck Kris Kobach from Kansas.